Mundungus undercover

Mundungus Fletcher gets a ticking off from Mrs Figg after sneaking off to buy stolen cauldrons

Extract from Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix

By J.K. Rowling

‘Oh, my dear, I wish it were so, but I’m afraid – MUNDUNGUS FLETCHER, I AM GOING TO KILL YOU!’

There was a loud crack and a strong smell of drink mingled with stale tobacco filled the air as a squat, unshaven man in a tattered overcoat materialised right in front of them. He had short, bandy legs, long straggly ginger hair and bloodshot, baggy eyes that gave him the doleful look of a basset hound. He was also clutching a silvery bundle that Harry recognised at once as an Invisibility Cloak.

‘’S’up, Figgy?’ he said, staring from Mrs Figg to Harry and Dudley. ‘What ’appened to staying undercover?’

‘I’ll give you undercover!’ cried Mrs Figg. ‘Dementors, you useless, skiving sneak thief!’

‘Dementors?’ repeated Mundungus, aghast. ‘Dementors, ’ere?’

‘Yes, here, you worthless pile of bat droppings, here!’ shrieked Mrs Figg. ‘Dementors attacking the boy on your watch!’

‘Blimey,’ said Mundungus weakly, looking from Mrs Figg to Harry, and back again. ‘Blimey, I –’

‘And you off buying stolen cauldrons! Didn’t I tell you not to go? Didn’t I?’

‘I – well, I –’ Mundungus looked deeply uncomfortable. ‘It – it was a very good business opportunity, see –’

Mrs Figg raised the arm from which her string bag dangled and whacked Mundungus around the face and neck with it; judging by the clanking noise it made it was full of cat food.

‘Ouch – gerroff – gerroff, you mad old bat! Someone’s gotta tell Dumbledore!’

‘Yes – they – have!’ yelled Mrs Figg, swinging the bag of cat food at every bit of Mundungus she could reach. ‘And – it – had– better – be – you – and – you – can – tell – him – why – you – weren’t – there – to – help!’

‘Keep your ’airnet on!’ said Mundungus, his arms over his head, cowering. ‘I’m going, I’m going!’

And with another loud crack, he vanished.

‘I hope Dumbledore murders him!’ said Mrs Figg furiously. ‘Now come on, Harry, what are you waiting for?’

Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix

By J.K. Rowling