But being in Gryffindor isn’t all just hanging out with Harry Potter, winning Quidditch matches and looking fantastic in a lion jumper, you know…
Harry Potter keeps losing you house points
Gryffindor is the most well-known Hogwarts house in part due to its famous alumni. Albus Dumbledore, Remus Lupin and a certain bespectacled chap we forget the name of, to name but a few.
Like every celebrity party, some of the guests have a tendency to go a little bit diva. Harry Potter’s tendency to evade rules often ends up with The Boy Who Lived becoming more like The Boy Who Drops House Points Like It’s Going Out of Style.
Whether by sneaking around the school after hours, or topping up the perpetual disdain of Professional-House-Point-Subtractor Severus Snape, good luck winning the House Cup while Harry’s a student. Still want his autograph? Of course you do.
You have the strictest ever head of house
Gryffindor’s head of house is one tough witch. Minerva McGonagall is a force to be reckoned with, and unlike certain other heads of house, (cough, Professor Snape, cough) she isn’t exactly indulgent when it comes to rewarding her students. Gryffindors have to work really hard to earn her approval.
You’re expected to be brave ALL the time
The Sorting Hat says it best itself: ‘You might belong in Gryffindor, where dwell the brave at heart, their daring nerve and chivalry set Gryffindors apart.’ No pressure, then.
It certainly is a compliment to be described as chivalrous – and definitely a good note to put on your CV or online dating profile. However, students at Hogwarts have to deal with a lot of dangerous stuff, and in Gryffindor there is a bit of an expectation to save the day. Sure, you can probably put a glass over a spider without flinching, but could you do the same so easily with Lord Voldemort?
You’re always going to be targeted more than the other houses
It’s bad enough you’re known as ‘the brave ones’, but there’s also the added pressure of the fact that Harry bloomin’ Potter is essentially Gryffindor’s poster boy. A nice fact to brag about at parties, but don’t forget that Harry has been a target ever since he was still in nappies.
If it’s not Sirius Black slicing his way through the common room portrait to get to his godson, it’s Lord Voldemort trying to kill him (again). While Hufflepuffs have a nice evening in, Gryffindors most likely lie awake in bed wondering when next Death Eater is going to pay a visit.
The Fat Lady is not the greatest security guard
It ain’t over until the Fat Lady sings. But for Gryffindor students, it ain’t over until the Fat Lady wakes up and actually lets you into your common room. Gryffindor’s capricious portrait subject likes to party, which is bad news when students are trying to get to bed after a hard day Transfiguring teapots into tortoises.
If she’s not off out drinking wine in a different portrait, she’ll sometimes just pretend you’ve got the wrong password for a laugh. Or she’ll just be asleep. You had one job, Fat Lady!